radio: JD Salinger died last night; he was 91.
me: wow. raise your hand if you thought he was already dead!
abby: ...raise your hand if you just found out JD Salinger was a man!!
LAURYN HILL QUESTION
do you think lauryn hill lets her kids watch sister act 2?
gem: I think my autobiography will be titled: "I Can Eat A Pizza All By Myself"
gem: ": A Journey Through Contented Lonliness"
megsnotplural: brainland: White Town “Your...
my target audience.
“i went to h/s w her at marana. she was way dorky and then in college got fakeboobs and became a stripper. there you go - that’s your target audience!” a text from my friend, who coincidentally knows a woman who bought one of my paintings back in august.
think of it like this, dad. if the box says to bake the cookies at 325 for 30...– abby to her father, who insists five minutes on the most difficult setting of his elliptical, is a quicker way to achieve the same results as a 30 minute workout on a lesser setting.
text messages i've sent today
• for a miss america contestant you sure are drunk a lot. • i’m in a dirty bathroom. sure wish i had one of those pee funnels we always make fun of. • be serious - degas’ dancers were really all prostitutes right? • ordering bubblegum ice cream is probably a pretty big deal breaker, huh?
at the bar
random drunk girl is chatting up some guy, turns around to sarazona who is minding her own business trying to buy a drink and says… I JUST CONVINCED THIS DUDE THAT I PLAY BASKETBALL FOR THE U OF A, BUT REALLY I’M JUST STANDING ON THE BARSTOOL!!! AAAAAAAHAHAHA!! and then she just turned back around.
stacystranzl: My thoughts on your post Stacy, and I hope some how you’ll be able to read this seeing as how I can’t figure out how to reply to your post… I would have handed him a blank piece of paper and said, “show me”. He would have given you a dumbfounded look after realizing he actually wouldn’t be able to do it. People don’t realize how much time and effort goes into a piece of artwork,...
real doctors cannot be named “jennifer”.
(gabrielle's "dreams" playing on xm90s)
sarazona: how did this chick even become famous??
me: it was the 90s. even we would have been famous in the 90s.
sarazona: sooooo famous. we would have been huge. too bad we were like...ten.
me: i regret that every day.
that guy’s problem isn’t that he’s a hoarder, it’s that...– sarazona (during hoarders)
wesley hilsabeck, a guy i knew in college, wrote...