dad in the kitchen
me: sooo...what are you looking at?
dad: if i told you, you wouldn't believe me.
me: oh my god! tell me!
dad: no. forget about it.
you going to stay up for the princess wedding or u gunna be gay and dvr it?– an unsolicited text i received today
(sweet home alabama comes on at the bar)
jennie: yeah! i fucking love this song!
me: please don't be that girl. don't cheer when this comes on.
jennie: but i'm from north carolina, i can't help it!
me: the song is about alabama?
jennie: can't argue with that.
my mom is reaaally trying to get out of hooking up...
mom: do you know how to set up a tv?
me: do i know how to plug a plug into an outlet?
mom: and set up the tv? i don't know how to do it.
me: plug it in.
mom: and the cable box? it's just going to work?
mom: you don't need to be rude.
me: it screws into the back.
mom: what do i do about the clicker. can you show me?
me: can i show you how to what?
mom: how do i set up the tv. will you help me?
me: plug it into the wall!!
mom: i don't think i understand.
me: i don't know how to do it. call jordan.
i'm having a hard time
finding the “fuckyeahileftmycarwindowsdownanditsbeenrainingfor6hours” tumblr. did the url change??